Goth Dancing by r. Adam Wright/break correspondent The Look: Think mysterious, tortured, and overly self-absorbed. How to Feel It: Imagine that you're a princess (yes, the guys too) and your father has killed your lover. You're insane with despair, so you dance every night on the castle walls, your lover's ghost hovering above you. If this feels over-dramatic, it's probably not the dance for you. The Moves: Sway back and forth, pretending to pull out your intestines and hand them to God. Frown. Grimace. Ache. Repeat several times. Then, point your toes down and swing your feet around, while squeezing your thumbs with your fingers. If you look like Molly Ringwald jonesing for crack, you've got it. How Not to Look Gay Unless You Are: Sorry guys, there's no real escaping it with the Goth look. The only thing that might help is punching the air with your fists and kicking, so you look like you're fighting your demons instead of caressing them.