Walker1812 recently made an announcement that he was moving his life onto the world wide web. His press release said it was, "A move made after long thought and that this would provide a better medium for which the world could follow the journey of one man's life."  It was a move that shocked many of his faithful followers.  A London cabbie said upon hearing the news, "This isn't an idea that I think we are ready to follow." I talked to the man himself recently in a New Orleans bar.  He was relaxed with a drink in his hand watching the tourists swelter in the heat.  He arrived in a good mood wearing a black blazer with black jeans and a black shirt.  I asked him how he could wear all black in this heat.

Walker1812:  Well, you know how it is, fashion rarely is dictated by the weather anymore. I guess I am comfortable in this, despite the heat. More than that, my legs aren't something I like to draw attention to in shorts.  I have been known to blind people with my pale skin. (laughs)

Lounge Staff:  Before I dive into the deep questions, I have to ask why you wanted to meet in New Orleans?  It's not a normal place in which we would think to place you.

W:  I guess you might be right there.  I'm not sure I have always loved New Orleans and it has always disappointed me.  It's a city we expect too much of I guess.  Either that or I have read too many Anne Rice books.  Compared to those, New Orleans is really a city it seems,... just to get drunk in and puke in the streets.  Something which has never really appealed to me.  Yet for all that, I keep coming back.

LS:  Ok, well it is time now to ask the big question.  Why move your life onto the internet?

W: Like I said in my press release, this is a good way to follow my life. Course the hacks I pay to do PR say it much better than me.  But, for a serious answer, I get asked a lot of questions about who I am, what I do, and what I look like. This is an easy way to answer all those questions without having to repeat myself all the time. It is basically a way for people who don't know me to get up to speed on who I am.

LS:  Don't you think having an online magazine dedicated to just your life is a bit vain?

W:  (takes a long pause)  Well yeah, I can see how people might think that but, well you know, there is an interest.  I am just acting in response to people's desires.  They want the website, not me.

LS:  Like who for example?

W:  Well, lots of people. It would take me forever to list them all.  I wouldn't want to bore you.

LS: Name a few.

W:  Ok, besides my mom...uhmm...ok, people I meet online.

LS:  You seem very vague about this.  Are you sure there are people out there who care enough about you for an actual website to keep them informed? 

(At this point in the interview Walker1812 waves to two men at the bar.  They walk over and stand behind him.  They are larger looming brutes who start staring at me like they would love to meet me in a dark alley.)

W:  Yes, and can we move on to another topic?

LS:  Uh, yeah, sure...anything in particular you want to say...about anything?

W:  I thought you were the guy with all the questions? 

LS: Umm, what is your favorite color?

W: Green, and I like Italian Food, and Science Fiction novels and my lucky number is thirteen.  But I thought you had nosey questions to ask?

LS:  How come you never married your daughter's mother...urk!!   (tape ends)

    At this point Walker1812 waves at one of the men behind them and said," Pat, I would greatly appreciate it if you took this kind gentleman outside and gave him back his tape recorder in a new and interesting way."  I really don't remember much of what happened next, except for an unpleasant awakening face down on a bed in the ER.  By the way, if any magazines are hiring out there I would love to work somewhere where the medical plan doesn't only cover stuff that your boss inflicts on you.